When Distance Never Mattered In His Presence…

It was the third day of Kaarthigai Deepam, one among the most significant events in Tiruvannamalai. It is tradition that the deepam on top of the mountain, is lit at 6pm for 11 days continuously. Me and my father planned on going for girivalam* after seeing the deepam.

It was around 8 PM when we planned to start the girivalam. I already had back pain due to my travel inconvenience and was confused whether to start the girivalam or not because in that state, I was unable to walk with ease even for a few metres. Still, I had a strong feeling that once I take a step forward, Annamalayar would take care of the rest. So I went to Ramanasram and prayed to Bagavan that “I am already having back pain, but I wish to go for girivalam. It is you who should be with me“ and started my journey.

After about half an hour of walking, I felt stiffness increased over my lower back and my neck started to swell with pain. I admit, I became nervous for a moment. I reminded myself of the basic principles of Tharsarbu, which my teacher insisted to me repeatedly. “It is tightness which causes pain. Do not restrict the flow of breath.” I stood there for a minute and applied these over myself and spontaneously felt relieved. I turned right. I saw Annamalayar with the deepam illuminating in the darkness. It was indeed a sight of beauty. It gave me strength to move forward.

After some time, I reached Adimudi Siddhar Jeeva Samadhi. I sat there in front of Swami with my eyes closed for some time. All the tightness in my body released in the form of jerks. By his grace, when I came out, my entire body felt lighter and I was excited to walk further.

As I was walking, there was a moment when I remembered a verse from Aksharamanamalai,

“Soodhu sei dennai sodhiya dini yun

Jyoti yurukkat tarunachala”

(Oh Arunachala, from now on, do not test me by deceit,

And show me your form which shines like a flame)

Immediately I looked at the deepam glowing brightly. It was indeed a dream come true. I felt immensely blessed to be there at that moment of time.

I reached Eesanya Gnana Desigar Jeeva Samadhi, which is one of my most favourite places, at around 11.30 PM. Though it was closed, I stood in front of the gate for a few minutes and thanked him for making me come to his place, and then I left.

As I was nearing the end, my foot became sore and I felt a burning sensation. I couldn’t continue walking further. I sat in front of a closed shop and did Paadha chakram, a practice of Tharsarbu. It is a simple yet effective practice which takes only a few minutes of time. The only thing which matters here is that we have to approach our foot with the sense of handling a flower. After doing this, I was able to complete the remaining distance at a stretch. I finally reached Ramanasram, the place where I started. I bowed in front of Bagavan and thanked him for making me complete the girivalam and left home.

In my entire journey I kept on looking at Annamalayar’s deepam once in every few minutes. It was a feeling of overwhelming happiness and contentment at the same time. It is said by Manikkavasagar,

“Avan arulaale avan thaal vanangi”

(We bow down to him, by his grace alone)

In the same way, it was Annamalayar who made me walk 14 km barefoot around him, and blessed me with an opportunity of being in close vicinity with him during my entire journey.

*a sacred walk around the mountain

Dr. Teja

Tiruvannamalai

31.12.2024

Dr. Tejasri

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