When I Took One Step Towards Him…

It was my second stage Tharsarbu class. As the class was held at a hall inside the campus of Esanya Gnana Desigar Jeeva samadhi temple in Tiruvannamalai, I had the opportunity of visiting the temple 2-3 times that day. From the first visit, whenever I went to His temple, I could feel an unexplainable connection with Him.

In the class, my teacher Thiru.Palpandian told us that if we wish for anything and do Arithuyil practice even on a Tuesday morning (which is actually considered as an inauspicious and unlucky day), that wish would come true. I was naturally curious about the Jeeva samadhi and the positive vibrations it evidently withheld. I browsed the internet about Esanya Desigar’s Jeeva samadhi and found that there was very limited information about Swami. Only one painting of Him was available in the internet as well as the samadhi temple. There was a thought in my mind: “How would the Siddhar have looked in real life?” Soon the thought became my wish.

The class was held on a Sunday. We returned home the same night and I attended college on Monday as usual. That night, the wish to see Swami’s original form spontaneously became a deeper wish. And when I decided to do Arithuyil the next morning (Tuesday) and place my wish in the process, I was really very excited. With these thoughts, I went to sleep. Next morning as I planned, I did Arithuyil and placed my wish. After that I got ready for college and left. Only on the way to college, I could recall that I had a dream of Swami, the previous night (Monday) itself.

In my dream, I was standing inside Esanya Desigar temple, praying in front of Him. I went around His samadhi and came to a spot where there was a painting of Him with two tigers, one on each side of him. There were also some more people present in the temple. Suddenly some of them told me to look  inside of the samadhi. When I looked, it was extremely dark, with a  small ball of bright light floating in the air above His samadhi. I was extremely surprised and shocked to see it. That was my dream.

Monday night before going to sleep, I had planned to place my wish on Tuesday morning during Arithuyil, but Swami blessed me with His Dharshan showing His real form the previous night itself. He had actually been enormously graceful to fulfil my wish even before I placed it. He accepted my request of seeing Him and also made me understand that He is very much alive, in the form of light, as later confirmed by my teacher. I was much thrilled and at the same time very happy to realize his unconditional love. I started trusting Him blindly from that moment onwards.

Till now, every time I visit Tiruvannamalai, Swami always makes me come to His temple and blesses me. The moment I see Him, I feel a deep sense of connection and there will be a lot of uncontrollable tears without any reason.

At times when I feel extremely sick, I meditate in His samadhi and apply His vibudhi. This makes me feel a lot better. I believe that it was not me who came across Him, rather it was He who pulled me towards Him and showered His grace upon me. Personally, I don’t see Him as God or a Siddhar. I feel Him as my grandfather only, because of the way we connected naturally. His temple always feels like home to me. Such is the bond I share with Him and I will  continue to treasure it eternally.

I would be grateful throughout my life to Agaguru Thiruvadi Siddha lineage and my Teacher Thiru.Palpandian for accepting me as a student and always blessing me since then.

Dr. Teja

Tiruvannamalai

10.04.2024

Dr. Tejasri

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